少年

少年 / Youngsters

颜峻

第一次听到Radiohead的时候，觉得有点郑智化的感觉——自恋、痛楚、唯美……只是他们有更多的音乐性，不像后者那般朴素。

而郑智化的歌声是听不见的，是类似于沉默的一种声音。在他所有的慢歌中，你只知道小调拖延着你的理性反应，清晰的拍子上韵脚重复着绝望——它早已潜入你的内心——旋律简单、结构整齐，那种深彻骨髓的厌倦和挣扎并不需要高歌或大叫，它只是重复和加深。当歌曲变成了将哭而未哭的叹息，就不会再有人去谈论什么歌声，因为那声音太不完美，太不迷人，太不神奇，它其实就来自于你自己平凡的内心。

而你是少年，或者我们是少年，是青春期边缘的少年，在社会上一无所有，在爱情中漏洞百出，在同龄人中，因过多的敏感和向往而换回了自卑。这种心性会持续至整个青年时代，直到把失败感转化为宿命。我的脚步想要去流浪，我的心却想靠航……有些人一无所有……绝望的孩子……在黑夜里，点一盏希望的灯，像母亲的怀抱，温暖……我忍不住哭了。郑智化把押着韵的小诗和社会写到一起，有些人依然头壳坏掉，有些人却做了未婚爸爸，还有些人忍不住哭了，这一部分人就是我们，带着破败的心情长大，迷恋于个人生活，靠郑智化粗而拙的嗓子表达。

而透过《淡水河边》，我们发现了对谎言的默认，如果抛开它在情歌层面的意义，再向《蕾丝花边》逼近，则有一片弥漫着的死亡气息超越了郑智化本人。让我来指出吧，这才是我们从郑智化那儿得到的礼物、药品或食粮。与王杰那类苦孩子不同的是，这个苦孩子拥有简单、直接的悲观主义，他甚至在《亲爱的宝贝》中也带着厌世的鼻音；我们得到的不是自我怜悯的借口，而是从人世坠落的本能，那黯淡的嗓音似乎拥有魔力，可以穿透郑智化身处的这套娱乐模式，来温暖我们，这些在伤害中永不长大的少年。

而这个无力的批判者和脆弱的奋斗者又被隆重推出，被装饰在一张名为《夜未眠》的专辑中，含糊不清地离开了单调和性别，就连《星星点灯》、《水手》那样的庸俗强心剂都没了，厌世的少年长大了。

而我们却依然爱他，因为我们依然是少年，迷恋着晦暗的夜色、诗和逃亡之旅。

Translation

Translation by Julia Gao

When I first listened to Radiohead, they reminded me of Zheng Zhihua – narcissism, pain, aestheticism……Only they have more musical elements instead of the plainness of the latter.

However, Zheng Zhihua’s voice is inaudible; it’s like the sound of silence. In all his soft songs, you only feel the minors dragging your reason, the clear beats repeating desperation – it has already infiltrated into your mind – simple melodies, and tidy structures. The piercing dreariness and struggle don’t need to be expressed by raising one’s voice; they just repeat and deepen themselves. When songs have turned into sighs and cries without tears, no one will talk about the singing anymore, for the voice is far from perfect, far from charming, and far from magical, for it actually comes from your own ordinary mind.

But you are a youth, or we are youths, who are driven on the edge of the adolescence, not owning a thing in the world, full of loopholes in love, and feeling inferior among peers because of oversensitivity and overexpectation. Such disposition lasts the whole period of adolescence until the feeling of failure is switched to fatalism. My footsteps lead me to wander, but my heart needs a harbor……some people have nothing at all……desperate child……in the dark night, lights a lamp of hope, as warm as mother’s arms……I can’t help crying. Zheng Zhihua combined rhymed poems and society together: Some people still have a bad head; some people become unmarried daddies; others can’t help crying, who are we, grown up in a ruined mood, drowned in personal lives, and expressed by Zheng Zhihua’s cracked voice.

And through 《Near the Freshwater River》, we find the acquiesce to lies. If we leave aside the love in this song and move toward 《Voile lace》, we smell the pervasive scent of death which even prevailed Zheng Zhihua himself. Let me point out – this is the gift, drug, or food that we receive from Zheng Zhihua. Unlike such miserable children as Wang Jie, this poor child’s pessimism is simple and direct. Even he presented world-weary nasal tones in 《Dear Baby》; what we hear is not self-pitying excuses, but the instinct to fall from this world. The saddened voice, as if magic, penetrates the entertainment stereotype which Zhen Zhihua was placed in and warms us, the wounded youngsters who never grow up.

However, this feeble critic and weak struggler was introduced to public once again, decorated in an album called 《The Night Hasn’t Slept》, vaguely driven away from monotony and sex; even the vulgar cardiotonics like 《Stars light lamps》《Sailor》were gone – the world-wearied youngster has grown up.

But we still love him, for we are still youngsters obsessed with gloomy nights, poems, and the journey of escape.

Remarks